Awkwardness and other things
Warning, seriousness ahead.
We all have good days and bad days. Sometimes it feels like they’re all bad days. But it’s not that, not really. This site is called Awkward Geeks, not just because we thought it was a cool name, but because it’s accurate. Both Lynn and I can be very awkward, especially socially. And sometimes, that awkwardness can turn into other things.
For me, I can end up getting sad and depressed, sometimes at the drop of a hat. I don’t really know where it comes from, there doesn’t seem to be any obvious trigger. I can just be at work, having a good day, and then it hits me. This overwhelming feeling like no one wants me around, that I simply don’t belong.
It’s not fun, not at all. And it can be very hard to deal with, especially if I’m not home. It’ll usually take me a good 24 hours or more to start feeling a bit back to normal. When I’m like that, I don’t really take any joy out of the things that I usually love. I’ll have no motivation to work, (but if my boss is reading this, I do my best to plow ahead anyways).
Video games won’t do it for me either. If you know me, you know I’m a huge gamer, I’m even getting a gaming channel on youtube going lately. But suddenly, I’ll have no desire to play anything when this happens.
All my energy will just be drained. Pretty much the only thing I end up doing is scrolling through Reddit endlessly, or laying on the couch for hours just watching TV. I’m typically not a TV watcher like that. I’ll end up getting bored and restless, but at the same time have no desire to do anything. It drives me nuts.
Lynn helps me as much as she can. Sometimes just getting a hug from her can help a little bit, that little reassurance that someone here cares. I love her very much, and really don’t know what I’d do without her.
I know I’m not alone with this kind of thing. But often it can feel like I am. That’s why I’m writing this post. People like me, we need the reminder I think. So if you recognize yourself in what I wrote above, know that you’re not alone. I don’t really have any answers, I just know that I’m here, doing the best I can.